


Fearless

by Zedoktor



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zedoktor/pseuds/Zedoktor
Summary: In which Soldier has to battle his own inner demons.





	Fearless

To live without fear was to be truly powerful. But he had denied it too long, and told the lie too many times, so that even he believed it during the rush of battle when his enemies lay dead at his feet, and it never lasted. A glance was all it took to strike terror into his heart all over again, as desire bubbled to the surface and twisted, dangerous thoughts crowded his mind.

Thank god the helmet covered his eyes, or the object of all his thoughts and feelings might see him watching. He might suspect what lay just out of sight, what desperate lust he inspired. The Scotsman could never know - never, never, or the fear would cripple him as surely as a knife in the back. 

The horror of what he was had driven him out into a war on the other side of the world. It had made him perpetually angry, as if the fear could be covered up with enough shouting and violence. But one look - one single look that brought sleek, dark skin to his eyes, and suggested the smell of sweat and gunpowder to his senses - was enough to shatter all pretence. He wanted, and the wanting consumed him utterly, and all that stood between him and the most dangerous words - ‘I want you’ - was the last of Soldier’s fragmented self-control.

He slammed the locker door shut, helmet still on his head even though the towel was wrapped around his waist. The thoughts - the fear - wouldn’t leave him alone.

“ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS! I WILL BE PERFORMING MY DAILY ABLUTIONS FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTES! YOU WILL BE UNDRESSED AND READY FOR YOURS IN FIVE! FAILURE TO DO SO WILL RESULT IN HALF-RATIONS, AND BY RATIONS I MEAN THE ICE CREAM WE’RE HAVING FOR DESSERT!”

The others grumbled and ignored him, and made comments questioning his sanity. The only one whose opinion he valued was late, and absent. Soldier ducked into the showers, hung up both the helmet and towel, and scrubbed vigorously in the hope that it could clear his mind.

His skin still felt raw, sweaty, and a size too small. 

The voice outside froze him for a second. The bombastic, thickly accented words traveled right to the pit of his stomach. He was here; late, as usual, but not as late as expected. He might come into the showers. He might be naked.

The fear jolted his stomach. The image of dark, wet skin filled his mind; muscles moving under it, water running over it, touching intimate places that he ached to know. The voice taunted his ears, the timbre hinting at the deep, sultry possibilities of it with every syllable. For a few seconds, Soldier was lost; he wanted, and the wanting consumed him utterly, until the soap slipped out of his hand and bounced off his foot. 

He rinsed off and grabbed the towel. His helmet - the last line of defence between him and the darkest part of his soul - returned to his head, and crept down over his eyes. He took a deep breath, set his jaw, and faced the door to the locker room. The terror subsided, and even hinted that one day he might be truly fearless in the face of his doom, but Soldier had given up hope of that.

And every time, one look at Demo was enough to undo him.


End file.
